Choosing Joseph

Summary: God chose Mary to bear Jesus, and God chose Joseph to be Jesus' father. What would it have meant to marry a pregnant woman in the first century?

In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.” Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.” (Luke 1:26-33 NIV)

During the holiday season, it's not uncommon to see a sermon or lesson focusing on Mary, the mother of Jesus. We don't know much about Mary. All we really know is that 1) she was a virgin, and 2) she was favored by God. 

What else? We can speculate and make educated guesses. We can look at the life Mary had to live during her pregnancy and after Jesus was born. A pregnant teenager? An unwed pregnant teenager, in a time when adultery was punishable by death? What kind of person did she need to be, to live and thrive under such shame? What was it about Mary that led God to choose her?

These are all good questions, but I want to shift the focus over to Joseph:

Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly. But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” (Matthew 1:18-21 NRSV)

When the angel visits Joseph, the entire message is about Mary, and Mary's son. Joseph is relegated to 1) being a husband and 2) getting to name Jesus...with the name God had already picked out.

But...

God doesn't just choose Mary; God chooses Mary, the wife of Joseph. Mary and Joseph are in this together. They're going to bear the incredible burden of raising the Son of God. They're also going to bear the burden of shame, with Mary's pregnancy.

What happens when Joseph, a righteous man, marries Mary, a unwed pregnant girl? People will assume he's the father. They'll assume he lacked self-control. (Depending on the context, they might even think that he forced Mary into a compromising position). Mary's shame becomes Joseph's shame, and they share this burden together. And God chose them because God knew they could bear it.

Postscript

Writing this reminded me of the song "Joseph's Song" by Michael Card. It's a beautiful song with beautiful lyrics, and a worthy addition to any Christmas-focused events. Here's the chorus:

Father, show me where I fit into this plan of yours
How can a man be father to the Son of God?
Lord, for all my life I've been a simple carpenter
How can I raise a king?

Michael Card, as usual, displays his theological depth throughout his album, The Promise. The whole thing is worth a listen, even if his musical style isn't your standard fare.